Why do I keep thinking about the constellation

I need to get this out of my system, it's dragging me down.

So Bonita explained that it would be best if the the All Stars faction leader would have it during raids, because he has the most buff and had the highest family level. I was thinking, I did not win this so that you can play with it, it's difficult to get one and then you think I can easily lend it.

Doesn't matter now, constellations are not that uber.

And then it was clear they only let me join All Stars because of what I had.

I wish she just left me alone, so that I remained clueless as to how much the Constellation bracelets could have been worth back then, so that I would not have acted against my better judgment, and I would still be a pure, good, untainted gamer :)

But it was a game. It was thrilling to be invited in All Stars ^_^ And sure, I can decide for my own, I just didn't make the right decision. I caved in and was corrupted, like the One Ring in Lord of the Rings lol maybe I'll turn into Gollum... my precioussss

Well, I'm back to a nobody and it feels good to be playing again. Although there are times now that I don't know what else to do. Grinding has been boring again.

I did place "Fantastic Ads Awards 2009 Grand Prize Winner" in my family profile. I was ashamed before, and I wanted to keep a low profile, but it is who I am.

Now, with Cerosplus, I was so engrossed in doing the Arsene raid that I forgot to make my bid. So, rules are rules, I asked the faction members if I can still bid, they said no, it's past the deadline. Ok, whatever.

Off I go to play ^_^

It's like every problem now, it's so difficult, that to cope with it, I play ^_^

This game is like therapy...

I can vent my anger on an unsuspecting afk trio, kill steal them, but that's what I did before, not anymore. I noticed I get disconnected if I encroach upon the circle of another player. So, I just cover a big, empty area. Who cares if my characters take two spots? There's no line there that says I can't do that.

Well, getting the vault loots won't be much good to me either. I don't want the level 100 weapons and armors, I just lose vis when I break them. I don't want the rings either. I don't turn them into black oxides. I bought high quality gems, and then everyone was wondering, why did I buy that, and now, they copy me.

So the faction raid picked up a Pisces last June 3. I don't care anymore if they keep it for themselves. I'm sure they have a conscience.

It makes me happy that a new faction member like me got the coveted Veteran Chips and 100 Chips. Leonneth is going to be rich! If he/she could get them, it gives me hope that I could too ^_^

Why am I so engrossed over this game.